Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell’s Split: What Went Wrong? (External)

As Bachelor Nation awaits Rachael Kirkconnell to break his peace in his separation Matt Jamesthe source is giving Us Weekly a special understanding of their relationship.

“The split may seem sudden, but this has been brewing for some time. It was a long time coming,” said the source. “Matt just couldn’t commit to him.”

James, 33, and Kirkconnell, 28, met on season 25 of Bachelorchoosing to date after the show instead of getting engaged. While they briefly broke up as the show aired, they were back together in the spring of 2021. James announced on Thursday, January 16, that they have called it quits.

According to the source, the two were having trouble trusting each other. “It was difficult for Rachael to trust him,” said the source Us.

Still, “Rachael really wanted to get married and settle down and they weren’t on the same page,” the source continued. “He felt like she was waiting, and he wasn’t going to give her what she wanted.”

Although “they’re both very upset” about their split, according to the source, Kirkconnell is “ready to move on” and knows it’s “for the best.”

During their four-year relationship, James and Kirkconnell were often asked about plans for the next step. In the weeks leading up to the split, Kirkconnell had been reaching out to fans on Instagram asking about the proposal, joking that he would pop the question to James “next Thursday.” Last June, James told Us that she intended to marry Kirkconnell.

“We are doing well. I feel like when you feel pressured, that’s when you don’t want to do something,” he said Us at that time. “So I never felt stressed [to get engaged] because it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. That’s something we’ll do another time. That is why we are together with what we are working on. I’m excited about our future.”

Over the years, the two have been very active on social media, with James posting videos of their recent trip to London as recently as Wednesday, January 15. As a result, his statement of separation came as a shock to many fans. (Us (he pointed out that James often posts his travel content late, so it’s possible that the two are no longer abroad together, but they haven’t confirmed when their trip took place.)

“Father God, give me and Rachael the strength to mend our broken hearts,” Jacob wrote on Thursday. “Give us peace with this decision to end our relationship that goes beyond the understanding of the world. Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our happiness comes from you, Lord 💔.”

While some fans questioned the religious tone of the post, James has been open about his faith in the past, even starting his Bachelor journey with a prayer. Kirkconnell was tagged in the statement — written alongside a photo of their season of the ABC show — but never shared the post. She later “liked” a comment on her page that implied that James or her split announcement blindsided her. Us you understand that you were surprised by the post and not the actual breakup.

“The more I think about it, the more I think he’s completely blindsided by this,” it read. “Give him grace and let him answer in his own time.”

Us Weekly has reached out to James and Kirkconnell for comment.