All the Jokes Made by Nikki Glaser About the Beauty and Fashion Industry
Nikki Glaser he can easily win over a crowd with his humor – and his sense of style.
Glaser, 40, who hosts the 2025 Golden Globes on Sunday, January 5, is known for wearing skimpy dresses, platform heels, sparkly ensembles and more while hitting the stage with stand-up acts.
While attending the Golden Globes Red Carpet on Thursday, January 2, in Beverly Hills, Glaser dazzled in a custom Off-White suit with a ruched design. Underneath, she wore a black top with a cut-out feature on her chest and an enclosure.
Aside from looking good, Glaser stays true to the beauty and fashion industry in his jokes. From cracking up about wanting an eyebrow lift to the stress of wearing makeup all the time, the comedian never fails to perform Us laugh.
Keep scrolling for Glaser’s best jokes about beauty and fashion:
Plastic surgery
“I will use the money from tonight [and] I’m going to get a facelift,” Glaser said in his May 2024 special with Max, One day you will die. “I know I want this because every time I’m depressed, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, I’ve been raptured,'” she said, pulling her face back. “I’ve never felt worse but I’ve never looked better,” he laughed.
Clothing Dysfunction
Glaser experienced her own fashion faux pas when she appeared on an episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon in May 2021. As he was introduced to the crowd, Glaser opened his arms and said “Hello, Jimmy!” But she accidentally broke the skull of her hot pink blazer.
“My dress just burst!” Glaser exclaimed as he crossed his arms, closing them. “That was disgraceful, let’s move on,” he said, disparaging the incident.
Glaser later took to Instagram to continue to poke fun at the wardrobe malfunction, writing, “Nippy Glaser lit up everyone on the show and my friends who were watching on the other side of my computer. I am 💀.”
Wearing Makeup
“Without makeup, I look very different. I have never been seen. One day I was seen without makeup and I got angry,” he said in Max’s special. “F—you. Do you think Nikki Glaser looks like this?”
Glaser later joked about how long it took women to get ready for the event during his time The Hollywood ReporterAnnual Women in Entertainment speech in December 2024.
“Can we all just accept the toll glam is taking over our schedules?” he said to the crowd. “Did everyone start getting ready while it was dark outside?” In fact, I think the very speech I’m giving right now would be 20 percent better if I hadn’t spent most of yesterday preparing just so I could feel good enough to read it.”
He continued, “It’s hard to write a speech on the same day when you have to get a spray tan, comb it, get your nails done and clean your ——.”
“Let’s remember that this is a part of our job that men don’t need to do,” he laughed.
Looks Hot
Glaser made a joke about being treated differently when she was putting on her period One day you will die special. In the episode, he shared a funny story about getting free groceries at Trader Joes after a cashier flirted with him while he looked “hot.”
Messy Updos
“The only safe style for a woman right now is to put your hair up in a ponytail,” Glaser said as she stood up in June 2023. “Don’t take that for granted.”
She also joked that men “own the buns” now, and she can’t wear her hair in a weird way without it being a “man bun.”
“You have stolen a very sweet and simple style from us. I can’t put my hair in a bun.”
Rewearing Clothes
Glaser looked colorful in a mini one-shoulder dress while performing in Florida in January 2024.
“I reworked a @fboyisland dress for you and I appeared on the show and you all have stylish black blazers and bootcut jeans. I have it!” He wrote an Instagram post at the time.